Hello There,
Today I'm talking about my roommates, past and present, who have known about me being gender fluid. For those of you reading who don't have any people in their lives who know about your gender identity, find a friend to tell. I can not express how gratifying it has been to be able to be myself around others, even if it is only an extremely small group of people. I know it can be scary but as long as you choose someone trustworthy who you know will be accepting of your true self, you'll find yourself someone safe to tell. Ok spiel over, onto my roommates!
So about a year ago I was living with my parents and commuting to work. It was about an hour commute, but on the plus side I didn't have to pay any rent. I was saving up to buy a house so I was pretty keen on not having to pay rent. While I lived with my parents I really wasn't able to express my gender identity, but I kept telling myself that I had to tough it out to save my money. However once I got to a reasonable amount saved, I was finally a little more open to moving out. Additionally, at the time I had some family drama going on and gas prices had just exploded, so I knew now was the time. Fortunately one of my coworkers had long needed a roommate, and had been asking me to move in with her. Something that had always made the prospect of living with her interesting to me was that she was a member of the LGBTQ+ community, so I had a feeling she would be accepting of the fact that I was gender fluid. Well when the stress of living at home came to a head, I finally agreed to be her roommate. But before anything was set in stone I wanted to tour her town house, and then inevitably come out to her and gauge her reaction. The town house was nice and my room was fairly large, with a large walk-in closet and private bathroom. She was kind enough to give me a reasonable price for rent since we both knew I would only be living there short term while I pursued a job in another city. Once we had agreed on a price the moment of truth came, I had to let her know that if I was going to live with her she was going to have to keep my secret. So I cued up a picture (the one shown) and told her I was gender fluid. She was visibly shocked, but then was like "right on", and she promised not to tell anyone.
I spent about 6 months living there and it was wonderful, I got to express my gender identity whenever I wanted! I could cook dinner in a dress, or lounge on the couch in a nightgown, and my roommate acted like it was totally normal. For my room I chose a set of pink satin sheets, and in my bathroom a pink towel set, it was a total pinkout lol. I had several large photoshoots which added to my photo library, and started writing this very blog! But alas all good things must come to an end, I finally got the job offer for my new job. Like I talked about in my moving post, I had to get everything in my closet packed up and ready to go. It was definitely sad moving out both because I was going to loose my freedom to be fully gender fluid, but also because I was leaving the company of a great roommate.
Thankfully one of my friends and coworkers from my previous job also had just gotten hired at the same facility as me, and we decided to be roommates at a new apartment together. Given that she is friends with several gay men and my previous roommate, I figured she'd be accepting of a gender fluid person. I decided to come out to her, to add to my list of people who know my big secret. Sure enough she was super accepting of me, to quote her exactly "you just got so much cooler" lol. Unfortunately for me though, to save money on rent we are living with a third roommate who I have decided not to come out to. It's not that she probably wouldn't be fine with it, It's just that she seems a little to immature to empathize with what it means to be gender fluid. Additionally she seems like a little bit of a gossip, so I'd rather not risk her letting my secret leak to the world. So while I still have someone to talk to about being gender fluid, I'm not able to present as a girl whenever I want, at least for the time being. I think me and the roommate that knows both agree that if we live together again next year, our third roommate will be getting the boot. So who knows hopefully I'll be able to be out and about in my home as woman again soon enough!
-Carly