Hello There,
Hey friends, today I thought I'd share what was one of the hardest times of my life: when I was suffering from my worst gender dysphoria. This period took place in 2022 while working at my previous job. At this point in my life I had come to terms with my gender identity, although I hadn't been able to find the name for it yet. Despite me having a greater understanding of myself, I was in a living situation where I would be unable to dress and express my gender identity. In addition to an unfortunate living situation, the job I was working was an incredibly toxic work environment that had me and my coworkers all extremely stressed and unhappy.
So my home life was stressful and my work life was stressful, it was certainly a rough time. But what was the worst contributing factor to my extreme gender dysphoria? While I'm sure the overall sense of stress made it significantly worse, I actually believe it was another factor which was the primary cause of my dysphoria. At my job, we wore uniforms, with separate uniforms for men and women. There was no drastic difference between the uniforms both were polos and khaki shorts. However the cut of the women's polos was different from the men's; it promoted a narrow waist and showed off the chest. Additionally the women's polos came in additional feminine colors like pink.
Eventually I would escape the toxic work environment that job and move on to a new much better one (now with gender neutral work uniforms). However the stress of the gender dysphoria from this time has stayed with me. It has always felt like a massive hole in my life that I never got to experience what it was like to feel like a normal "girl" at my job. I eventually found an opportunity to do so and it was among the most euphoric feeling I've ever had! Read about in part 2 of this post.