Blog Update!

Hello There,

    Hey friends, I'm here with a Blog Update!! So unfortunately I've been really busy in my personal life, and haven't had the time to do any dressing as Carly recently. But that doesn't mean the content on this blog is going to stop. In fact I've got some exciting new updates on the horizon for you all to enjoy soon

• As I mentioned in a previous update post I've been working on a new fiction story titled My Summer with Aunt Sarah. I have all five of the first chapters and prologue written and they will be published bi-weekly soon!
• I've also got plenty of new Princess blog posts coming soon featuring all of our favorite princesses! Additionally, I am going to add a new Princess page to my blog, organizing all of the princess content into a single one stop shop! So look forward to that coming soon!
• Since this blog primarily focuses on gender non-conformity I've also got a new blog post on Sissies coming soon. You heard me right, Sissies! It is a subculture of gender nonconformity that I've always found fascinating, so I've been working on quite an extensive dissertation to cover it. It is quite a long read with lots of pictures, so all of you sissy fans out there better get excited!
• All you fans of my Crossdressers in History series will be excited to know that I've also begun working on the next decade, the 1990s! I've only just begun the research on the subject, but know that it's in the works!

Lastly, know that although they may be more spaced out, there will of course be more content coming soon about my personal life. More stories, advice and pictures will all be on the way soon! Thanks for sticking with me and being patient!

-Carly

Redemption For My Worst Dysphoria

Be sure to read the part one of this post:

Part 1

Hello There,

    I spoke in a previous blog post about my worst period of gender dysphoria. That miserable period of my life lasted about a year, but towards the end of it, and again recently I found some redemption for it. As I mentioned in an additional previous post, at the time of this dysphoria I was living with one of my coworkers who knew I was genderfluid. We were both suffering together while working at the same miserable job.

    Now, I never had ANY desire to wear her clothes. Sneaking and wearing the clothes of a family member, girlfriend, friend, or even roommate is very common among crossdressers. Now it's not that I thought her sense of style or choice of clothes was bad, or even that she was unattractive. Quite the opposite in fact, she's very pretty and had a fun wardrobe. Its just at this point in my life I had my own wardrobe and had no desire to sneakily wear the clothes of my friend.

    Well one day I was getting ready to run a load of laundry through the dryer, and I found that my roommate had left a load of laundry in the dryer. I didn't really think much of it, but out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of something special. There was her pink work polo sitting there in the dryer! Like I said, I never had any desire to wear her clothes. However when I caught a glimpse of that pink polo in the machine I seriously considered trying it on. But I resisted the urge and went about my day.

    Several weeks passed and my gender dysphoria was reaching a boiling point. I discussed in a previous blog post about how I very nearly made a massive decision by attempting to manage my dysphoria at work. Since that didn't work out, my dysphoria was still running rampant at work only made worse by the separate uniform for men and women. Well as my dysphoria worsened, so too did my judgement.

    Once again I was planning to do a load of laundry and once again I found her pink polo in the dryer. There was no stopping me this time, I pulled it out and planned on trying it on. To my surprise there was also her purple polo in there as well, my lucky day! I brought both into my room and threw on a pair of panties with a maxi pad, a bra, and our gender neutral work shorts. Then came my big moment, and I slipped on the pink polo.

    It's so interesting how such minor things can make some people so happy. But let me tell you all, I was feeling complete and utter euphoria wearing that polo. A year of unending gender dysphoria at work had led to this moment. At last I could see myself as I wanted to dress at work, and I looked good!! It was everything I wanted, everything I dreamed of. There are few moment's in life that gave me a greater sense of euphoria than this one. Even just looking back on these photos, gives me a high. But my fun didn't stop at pink, I had the purple one to try on as well!

    Purple was just as fun to wear! The whole experience was amazing and didn't want it to end, but alas all good things do. Before my roommate got home I had to return her polos to the dryer so that she wouldn't know I had borrowed them. While it was sad to be returning them, I was still riding the high from before. Despite how brief it was, I had just lived through one of my fantasies.

    Eventually, I escaped my job and moved out of the home with my former roommate. Thankfully after several more months she too was able to escape and got a new job out of state. While it was sad to see her go, more than anything I was happy that she was off to a less mentally oppressive job. While she was planning her move, she began downsizing her belongings. From this I saw an opportunity; it was a little embarrassing but I asked her if I could have her pink polo. To my relief she happily obliged! The next time I got lunch with her she handed it over, and I could feel my euphoria bubbling up all over again!

    The next time I planned to wear it I was going to go all out! Wig, makeup and all! I got all glammed up and put the polo back on. There I was, the girl that should've been showing up at work some of the time. This moment was full circle for me, from extreme gender dysphoria to achieving the ultimate in feminization. Now I have the polo to wear whenever I want, and the ability to relive my moment of ultimate euphoria!

    For those of you out there that are suffering with similar levels of dysphoria, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There will be opportunities to experience gender euphoria at one time or another, and maybe not in the way we'd expect. Hold out hope, let let your feminine fantasies find you!

-Carly

My Worst Period Of Gender Dysphoria

Hello There,

    Hey friends, today I thought I'd share what was one of the hardest times of my life: when I was suffering from my worst gender dysphoria. This period took place in 2022 while working at my previous job. At this point in my life I had come to terms with my gender identity, although I hadn't been able to find the name for it yet. Despite me having a greater understanding of myself, I was in a living situation where I would be unable to dress and express my gender identity. In addition to an unfortunate living situation, the job I was working was an incredibly toxic work environment that had me and my coworkers all extremely stressed and unhappy. 

    So my home life was stressful and my work life was stressful, it was certainly a rough time. But what was the worst contributing factor to my extreme gender dysphoria? While I'm sure the overall sense of stress made it significantly worse, I actually believe it was another factor which was the primary cause of my dysphoria. At my job, we wore uniforms, with separate uniforms for men and women. There was no drastic difference between the uniforms both were polos and khaki shorts. However the cut of the women's polos was different from the men's; it promoted a narrow waist and showed off the chest. Additionally the women's polos came in additional feminine colors like pink. 

    The differences are certainly minimal, but for someone who is suffering from gender dysphoria and stressful working conditions it was something to hyper-fixate on. I was constantly surrounded by women who got to dress in uniforms that conformed to the gender, and it constantly made me feel like the odd one out. It lead me to make have quite the near miss at work to help compensate for my heightened gender dysphoria, read about it here!  I spent over a year suffering like this, constantly reminded of my own perceived gender nonconformity by all the women around me. 

    Eventually I would escape the toxic work environment that job and move on to a new much better one (now with gender neutral work uniforms). However the stress of the gender dysphoria from this time has stayed with me. It has always felt like a massive hole in my life that I never got to experience what it was like to feel like a normal "girl" at my job. I eventually found an opportunity to do so and it was among the most euphoric feeling I've ever had! Read about in part 2 of this post.

Part 2

New Fiction Story Coming Soon!

 Hello There,

    I've never been a fan of reading or writing fiction based male to female stories. However, I have a fond memory of reading a fiction story about a teen boy staying with his aunt for the summer where after ruining his clothes in the wash, he begins wearing her clothes. Unfortunately, despite reading this story many times in my youth, this specific story seems to have been deleted from the internet, or hidden somewhere where google can't find it. 

    Since I can no longer enjoy reading this story I've decided to make my own!! Although it will follow similar plot points as the original it will be it's own story! I'm calling the story "My summer with Aunt Sarah", and it features high school student Tyler's summer with Aunt Sarah, and what happens when his entire wardrobe is ruined in the washing machine.

    I should be publishing the first five chapters and prologue bi-weekly, and then I may move on to another story I've got cooking up. I'll still be publishing continuations of the My summer with Aunt Sarah story in single chapters so you can look forward to these characters sticking around for at least a little while. Not sure when the official start date will be, but I thought I'd give you all something to look forward to!

-Carly

Dressing in Public for the First Time!

 Hello There,

    Well friends today was the big day, it finally happened, I WENT OUT IN PUBLIC FULLY DRESSED AS A WOMAN!!! WOOOO!!!!! This has been months in the planning and years coming now. Strap in everyone and enjoy my story!

    But first, how did I get here to this moment? Well I had two things to decide, where to go and what to wear. Starting with where to go, this was no easy choice. Go somewhere exciting, where I can engage in some feminine fun? Go somewhere lowkey where I can fly under the radar and have no one around to notice me? Well the point of going out in public is to be around other people right? So I wanted to choose someplace where other people would be present. But where to go, a store, a park, a mall? What I ended up deciding on is a gas station. I know it sounds lame but hear me out!

    I've talked at length about what a massive influence the now defunct Lisagirl.net is on me. Lisa had some great advice (as always) about how to choose a location to go out in public to. While it's certainly true that women do things like go clothing and shoe shopping. They also do simple things like mail a letter or get some gas. Women running errands happen more frequently than them going shopping. Lisa first gained her confidence of presenting as a woman in public by running simple errands. It just so happened that I needed to fill my car up with gas! So I both had an errand I needed to run and needed an opportunity to dress in public. So many people when they dress in public for the first time either choose somewhere in the middle of nowhere or choose somewhere packed like going to a club or bar. Lisa's advice was spot on, somewhere like a post office or gas station is a great opportunity to dress around people but not have anyone get too close to you. Lisa was no stranger to getting gas while dressed, and I'd like to thank her for the inspiration!

    Now for what to wear, I've been trying to plan an outfit for months now. Although I'd love to wear one of my favorite vintage dresses they would probably stand out a little too much for what I had planned. So I needed something a little more casual, something you'd see the average girl my age wearing. Jeans and a T-shirt, plain and simple. I've already chronicled my journey to find the perfect pair of jeans. With my new Levi's in hand I was ready to take a step out my door. I paired my new jeans with one of my favorite wide-banded V-neck T-shirts, in a striking blue color. I thought I was looking great, so I couldn't help but take some selfies. 

    But I ran into a problem, I had put so much focus on finding the perfect pair of jeans, I didn't remember to get a pair of women's shoes! Whoops! Well that meant if I was going out today I need to wear a pair of my guy shoes. I opted for a pair of black sneakers since some women's sneakers are plain black as well. But this created a problem, black sneakers didn't exactly match my current outfit! After spiraling for a few minutes I found a solution. Change my shirt, duh! So I swapped out my blue shirt and white cami for a black shirt and pink cami. This also gave me an opportunity to add a pink belt as well since it would match my camisole. After putting my outfit together I was ready to go. My makeup came out pretty well and I had my new wig on so I was feeling confident. After some hesitant circling I finally packed my purse and headed out the door!

    I didn't run into anyone while walking down the stairs of my apartment building, but I still breathed a sigh of relief when I got in my car. From there I gleefully drove to my destination! I made sure to look at every person passing bye as I drove to see if anyone was looking at me, catching a glimpse of me behind the wheel. When I finally arrived at a Wawa gas station I parked at the far corner pump, and with full confidence stepped out of my car. Like any other woman passing through I pumped my gas, and didn't stand out too much. However to commemorate the moment I did take some pics of me pumping gas.

    With a tank full of gas, I got back in my car and headed home. When I returned to my apartment I let out a breath of relieve and satisfaction, "I did it". I went out in public as a woman. It has been years coming but I finally did it. Now that I've ripped the Band-Aid off I'm excited to go out and try it again! So stay tuned everyone, hopefully more of Carly outdoors coming soon!

-Carly

My Top Five Favorite Princesses!

 Hello There,

    Everybody loves lists, and everybody loves Princesses (or at least everybody should!), so this should be a fun read for all! I'm here today to list my top five favorite princesses! Choosing which lovely lady falls on #1 was pretty difficult, but I thinks I've made my decision! So which royal wonder will be my favorite, let's count them down to find out!

Honorable Mention: Princess Ariel

    I've decided to include an honorable mention because there's a non-Disney princess on this list, and you all know how I'm ride or die with my Disney Princesses, so I felt a little bad about leaving Ariel off of my list! I never watched little mermaid as a kid like many, so I have no nostalgia associated with her character, but she's still enjoyable to watch none the less. She falls down compared to the other princesses on this list because her wardrobe is a bit lacking. Sure the pink dress is fine, and her wedding dress is fun, but what I'd consider her best dress, the sea foam green ball gown, is worn only in marketing material and in the Disney theme parks! So while yes the dress is incredible, it's not even in her movie! Lame!

5. Princess Rapunzel

    At number five I've got Rapunzel. Like Ariel I've only recently become attached to Rapunzel. Her infectious glee, and free spiritedness are just to endearing to ignore. Funnily enough however, initially I HATED Rapunzel's dress, it was just way too busy and peasant-ish to me. It has since grown on me however, and has far and away become one of my favorite dresses of all time!! So Rapunzel really has it all, the look, the personality and her movie is great too, she was an easy choice for my list!

4. Princess Cinderella

    At number four I've got Disney's most iconic princess: Cinderella. Strangely enough I'm really not that big a fan of Cinderella's movie or even Cinderella herself! What draws me to her is what she represents: Transformation. Makes total sense coming from someone who regularly transforms their gender doesn't it? Yes I love how the idea of how anyone can transform themselves into a beauty like Cinderella. It's not just the characteristic of transformation that draws me to Cinderella, you just can not go wrong with that iconic dress! Sparkly blue, puff sleeves, the ball gown silhouette, just amazing! Lastly as I mentioned earlier she's THE quintessential Disney Princess, how could she not hold a special place in my heart. So although she's not my favorite character or in my favorite movie, there's more than enough to love about Cinderella to warrant her inclusion on my list!

3. Princess Peach

    Here we are at our only non-Disney Princess on this list, at number three I've chosen Princess Peach! She's the video game industries most iconic princess (get out of town Zelda!), and with her recent appearance in the Super Mario Bros Movie, she has taken her place among cinema's greatest princesses. I have a long history with Princess Peach, which you can read all about in her dedicated blog post. So much about Peach appeals to me, there was no way she was gonna not make my list.

2. Princess Belle

    The next choice of princess was a really tough one, but at number two I've chosen princess belle. I know what you're thinking, the princess behind your namesake is only number two?!?! Things change, and new frontrunner has moved past my beloved Belle. But we'll talk about that other princess in a minute, right now it's all about Belle! Belle is everything you'd want from a princess, intelligent, kind, graceful, AND WHAT A DRESS!!! Yeah her dress is just ridiculously amazing, there was nothing else I desired to wear more as a child than Belle's iconic dress. Belle really is perfect in pretty much everyway, and honestly is probably interchangeable with the number one choice on this list. That being said I had to make a choice and I've recently found myself enjoying...

1. Princess Aurora

    Make it Pink! At number one we have Princess Aurora! Like I mentioned earlier for the longest time Belle was my favorite Princess but as I dived deeper and deeper into princess culture I found myself being drawn more and more to Aurora. I think she just encapsulates all the stereotypical qualities of femininity that draw me to it: Beauty (she's literally called sleeping beauty LOL), grace, charm, kindness. While belle certainly embodies modern femininity with her intelligence and strong will, Aurora embodies the aspects of femininity that I find to be missing during my time as male. 

    Also that dress though!! We all know pink is my favorite color, so how could I not choose the Disney Princess with an iconic pink dress. Sure the dress is blue some of the time, but Disney itself seems to prefer Pink as the color for the dress since it is the color predominately featured on all of its marking material as well as worn by Aurora in the Disney parks. Sure it's not a ball gown with a full wide skirt like most other dresses on this list, but it's sleek and feminine, and matches Aurora's grace.

    Is Sleeping Beauty the best Disney Princess movie? No. But it does still have some really redeeming characteristics that make it an enjoyable watch. Prince Phillip is a bad ass, and not only is Maleficent Disney's greatest villain, but she also turns into a freaken dragon! All that surrounding the lovely Aurora makes her story a fun one. Aurora really has every thing that draws me to princesses: femininity's stereotypical characteristics, an amazing dress, and a dragon! She's stolen my heart and sits atop the throne of my favorite Disney Princess!

-Carly

Wearing my Mom's Clothes One Last Time

 Hello There,

    As I've mentioned in my How I Started Dressing blog post, the first woman's clothing I wore was my mother's. Since then I've always had a massive amount of nostalgia for my favorite items in her wardrobe that I would regularly wear. My early experiences dressing in my mother's clothing have even influenced some of my current shopping trends. So naturally to say my mom's wardrobe has had a big impact on my life is an understatement.

    Of course as a young man I had to sneakily find opportunities to wear her clothing, when my parents were out of the house. Although I've since moved out of the house, and acquired my own wardrobe, I've always looked back on my favorite items of my mom's wardrobe with fondness. Well recently I had a rare opportunity, I was at my parent's home and they were away for a few days. So I thought it might be a good opportunity to wear my mom's clothing one last time so that I could take some pictures and share my favorite items with all of you. So I figure I'll go item by item and share them with you and how they influenced me!

Floral Panties: Like with most crossdressers one of the first things I tried on were panties, and my mom always had a great selection of microfiber panties that felt amazing to wear. This was definitely what sealed the deal for my love of panties and to this day I prefer silky panties because of the early days of wearing my mom's microfiber bikini panties. I decided to model her pair of floral microfiber bikini panties since them were one of my favorite when I was younger.

Pink Bra: As I mentioned in my How I Started Dressing blog post, my curiosity about bras were the original reason I started crossdressing. Although my mom had several bras I frequently wore, one of my absolute favorites was her pink bra, mostly because of the color but also because it had some padding in it which helped to create the illusion of cleavage. Although many of my favorite bras were missing from my mom's wardrobe during my visit I was happy to at least find my old reliable pink bra there.

White Bra: Funnily enough as I was digging through her wardrobe drawers I stumbled upon the exact white bra that inspired my surprise bra blog post. So I had to put it on for nostalgia's sake. Sure enough it looks exactly like the one I bought!

Favorite Maxi Dress: There was always one singular item in my mom's wardrobe that was my favorite item to wear, and it was her long blue maxi dress. It was made of an extremely soft silky material, decorated with rhinestones along the bust, and felt satisfyingly heavy to wear. During almost every dressing session I had in my mom's closet I would just have to try the dress on. To this day I am so upset because I haven't found a similar one to put in my wardrobe! 

Purple Wrap Dress: The dress that proved my body would look good in women's clothing was my mother's purple wrap dress. The way the dress was cut to show off hips and the bust, and minimize the waist made my figure look super feminine. Plus I thought the long sleeves were kinda fun. This is another dress which I would love to add a similar one to my wardrobe!

Pink T-Shirt & Jeans: The next two items are in a set because they go so well together. I had always loved pink as a color but my mom never really had much pink in her wardrobe. That all changed however to my delight when she bought herself a pink V-neck T-shirt. I was thrilled and naturally tried it on the first chance I got, and I was totally in love! Pink was so fun and feminine, and I liked to pair it with a pair of my mom's jeans which featured pink rhinestones on the booty. It was a pink overload! Naturally I couldn't resist trying on the outfit again and to my delight the jeans still fit!

This outfit is actually one of the reasons that I love V-neck shirts so much! I have since gone on to add recreate this outfit with clothes in my own collection!

Purple Nighties: So obviously I'm a fan of full slips and satin things, but where did that love start? Well other than being inspired by other wonderful crossdressers, I was first exposed to silky fabrics from my mother's nighties. She had them tucked away in a the back of one of her drawers, so she obviously hadn't worn them in a long while. Even though she certainly didn't derive any joy from them anymore I certainly did. I loved how the silky satin like material felt on my skin and the purple colors were a fun bonus. Getting to wear them again all these years later was a fun treat, and I found them right wear I left them in the back of the drawer. It's interesting to think that the last person to wear these was probably me!

    I had a fun little stroll down memory lane trying on all of my childhood favorites from my mom's wardrobe. It's so interesting to see how my early experiences defined my fashion choices now! Now that I'm older however and have plenty of clothes for myself, I really don't see any reason to find myself in my mom's closet again. I'm glad I now have these photos to fondly remember my early days and share them with you all, but it's time to move on and continue building a wardrobe of my own!

-Carly